Well its Actually only 98 games. Why? Because fuck you is why. Nah im just kiddin you’re alright. But everyone loves lists right? So heres a really big fucking list! It’s not in any real order, tho i have put the more rose tinted retro games at the ass end, cause let’s face it,t hey’re generally shit when you go back to them. Enjoy!

98. Millennium 2.2

This space station building sim was way ahead of its time and only 3 people ever played it.

97. Barbarian

Chop off heads and watch goblins kick them. Also featured Wolf from gladiators on the cover which guarantees amaze.

96. Prey

Indians, Aliens, & gaping vagina doors.

95. Lemmings

Green haired fuckheads

94. Alien Resurrection

Not only the only good FPS on PSX, but the only good Aliens game, ever.

93. Centipede

A bit shit now. Revolutionary in 1984 or so

92. Parappa the Rapper

Rapping dog fucks a girl who is a flower. Yep, were in Japan.

91. Bonanza Bros.

Like grand theft auto if you replace auto with jewellery

90. Zany Golf

It has a giant hamburger on one course. And one of the best chiptunes ever on the pinball course.

89. Aliens (arcade)


87. Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders

Aliens in Groucho Marx glasses are making everyone in the world retarded. Not so much sci-fi, but in 1992, it was a grim relaisation of what was to come.

86. Bomb Jack

Defuse bombs in Disneyland. yeah!

85. Tekken 3

A.k.a beating up a kangaroo with a bear

84. Colin Mcrae 2.0


83. Metal Marines

I cant remember shit about this SNES RTS except for it being awesome.

82. Populous

Peter Molyneux peaked with his first game. Sad.

81. Zombies ate my Neighbours

The beginning of the zombie craze in videogames

80. Tenchu

If these positions were based on voice acting, Tenchu would be NUMBER FUCKING ONE.

79. Last Ninja 2

The game that took me 4 years to clear level 1.

78. Hunter (Atari ST)

A vaguely humanoid polygon wanders areound a bunch of islands in a boat. Fucking revolutionary in its day.

77. Vroom


76. Supercars 2

Dont call me moonbeam, sunshine.

75. Golden Axe

DEATH=ADDER. Didn’t they have hyphens back then?

74. Ninja Gaiden

Fuck this game.

73. Captain Blood

Hey you know that mass effect game? Heres its great great granddaddy. Traverse the galaxy taking to aliens killing some and trying to bone others.

72. Mortal Kombat 2


71. Rock n’ Roll Racing

Best 16bit version of ‘paranoid’ youll ever hear

70. Magicland Dizzy

Eggs with boxing gloves! Magic lands! If you didnt love dizzy you officialy hate fun.

69. Syndicate

Playing this shit in the 90s was like jacking into the Matrix

68. Flashback

Playing this shit in the 90s was like jacking off to the Matrix

67. Doom 3

Scary for a half hour, then predictable, but still awesome

66. Fight Night round 3

Beating people up online has never been as amazing as this

65. Tony Hawks Pro Skater

The game that made Tony Hawk famouser.

64. Pac Man

Doesn’t need a tagline

63. Gears of War

The shooter that made it OK to be gay for dudebros

62. Gran Turismo


61. Pokemon Blue/Red

Let me show you my pokemans

60. Commandos: Behind enemy lines

A.k.a the most difficult game of all time

59. Quake


58. Power Stone

Beat people up with bits of masonry.

57. Shenmue

Look for sailors and hang out in bars. Gayer than a weekend in a pink tent in a gay bar

56. LocoRoco

Japanese insanity on a disc

55. Devil May Cry


54. Darksiders

It’s got Vernon Wells in it. FUCKING BUY IT

53. Final Fight

If it wasnt for trailblazing gay games like this, we’d never have had the overtly gay games like gears of war

52. Turrican 2

Best chiptunes ever

51. Driver

Before GTA3, there was Driver. And it was a bit shit but it had to do until someone invented GTA3

49. Destruction Derby 2

The most fun you can ever have coming dead last in a race

48. Prince of Persia

Before Jake Gyllenhall fagged the franchise up

47. Ridge Racer


46. Metro 2033

Get out of here Stalk- sorry, wrong game.

45. Halo

The game that launched a billion racial slurs

44. Far Cry

Its great aside from the final 3rd which sucks more cock than paris hilton in a wind tunnel

43. Star Wars: Rogue squadron 2



The best twist ending ever. Shaymalan.jpg

41. Counter Strike


40. Rez

What the fu…

39. Arma 2

I dont know what the fuck im doing but i know its awesome

38. Flower


37. Outrun 2


36. Super Mario World

This game always makes me want to eat ice cream and donuts. At the same time.

35. Bioshock

Woudl you kindly write a tagline.

34. Another world

Or ‘out of this world’ if youre a yank.

33. Duke Nukem 3D

Balls of steel etc

32. Okami

Zelda if it made you fight Ganon ten times

31. Max Payne 2


30. The Darkness

Couch scene. Nuff said.

29. Vagrant Story

One of the finest RPG stories ever.

28. Resident Evil REmake

Become a master of unlocking.

27. Doom

The game that invented the FPS



25. Resident Evil 2

The best one.

24. Half Life

Nerd destroys, then saves the world

23. Assassins Creed: Brotherhood

Ass Bro

22. Ico


21. Amnesia: The dark descent


20. Shadow of The Colossus

The best game ever. Why is it at 20 then? LOL I DUNNO

19. Dead Rising


18. Zelda: The wind Waker

Still looks amazing even today

17. Alan Wake

Fuck off ok,  i loved it.

16. Battlefield 2

Why does it take an entire magazine to kill someone?

15. Crysis

awesome engaged

14. Deus Ex

Hang out in womens toilets

13. Legend of Zelda: A link to the past

Still the best Zelda of all time

12. Metal Gear Solid

Snake? Snake?! Fine, dont reply then.

11. Project Zero 2

Scared the fucking shit out of me. This game is no joke, for real.

10. Left 4 Dead

Best multiplayer game of the last 10 years.

9. Mass Effect 2

You get to shag aliens

8. Monkey Island 1

How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

7. Day of Defeat Source

The best MP FPS of all time.

6. Battlefield Vietnam

The 2nd best MP FPS of all time.

5. Street Fighter 2

Hadoken etc

4. GTA 3

The best GTA game ever. Yes, better than the loathsome San Andreas and with a more interesting and varied map then Vice City. And 10 times better than ‘i wish i knew how to write a script’ GTA4.

3. Half Life 2

Revolutionary graphics, Physics and storytelling. Remarkable.

2. Demons Souls

Youve heard how some women have rape fantasies? Thats what DS is to videogames. Itll fuck you up good and youll love it for it.

1. S.t.a.l.k.e.r: Shadow of Chernobyl

The best game of all time.