Well its Actually only 98 games. Why? Because fuck you is why. Nah im just kiddin you’re alright. But everyone loves lists right? So heres a really big fucking list! It’s not in any real order, tho i have put the more rose tinted retro games at the ass end, cause let’s face it,t hey’re generally shit when you go back to them. Enjoy!
98. Millennium 2.2
This space station building sim was way ahead of its time and only 3 people ever played it.
Chop off heads and watch goblins kick them. Also featured Wolf from gladiators on the cover which guarantees amaze.
Indians, Aliens, & gaping vagina doors.
Green haired fuckheads
94. Alien Resurrection
Not only the only good FPS on PSX, but the only good Aliens game, ever.
A bit shit now. Revolutionary in 1984 or so
92. Parappa the Rapper
Rapping dog fucks a girl who is a flower. Yep, were in Japan.
91. Bonanza Bros.
Like grand theft auto if you replace auto with jewellery
90. Zany Golf
It has a giant hamburger on one course. And one of the best chiptunes ever on the pinball course.
89. Aliens (arcade)
57 YEARS LATER…
87. Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders
Aliens in Groucho Marx glasses are making everyone in the world retarded. Not so much sci-fi, but in 1992, it was a grim relaisation of what was to come.
86. Bomb Jack
Defuse bombs in Disneyland. yeah!
85. Tekken 3
A.k.a beating up a kangaroo with a bear
84. Colin Mcrae 2.0
83. Metal Marines
I cant remember shit about this SNES RTS except for it being awesome.
Peter Molyneux peaked with his first game. Sad.
81. Zombies ate my Neighbours
The beginning of the zombie craze in videogames
If these positions were based on voice acting, Tenchu would be NUMBER FUCKING ONE.
79. Last Ninja 2
The game that took me 4 years to clear level 1.
78. Hunter (Atari ST)
A vaguely humanoid polygon wanders areound a bunch of islands in a boat. Fucking revolutionary in its day.
76. Supercars 2
Dont call me moonbeam, sunshine.
75. Golden Axe
DEATH=ADDER. Didn’t they have hyphens back then?
74. Ninja Gaiden
Fuck this game.
73. Captain Blood
Hey you know that mass effect game? Heres its great great granddaddy. Traverse the galaxy taking to aliens killing some and trying to bone others.
72. Mortal Kombat 2
71. Rock n’ Roll Racing
Best 16bit version of ‘paranoid’ youll ever hear
70. Magicland Dizzy
Eggs with boxing gloves! Magic lands! If you didnt love dizzy you officialy hate fun.
Playing this shit in the 90s was like jacking into the Matrix
Playing this shit in the 90s was like jacking off to the Matrix
67. Doom 3
Scary for a half hour, then predictable, but still awesome
66. Fight Night round 3
Beating people up online has never been as amazing as this
65. Tony Hawks Pro Skater
The game that made Tony Hawk famouser.
64. Pac Man
Doesn’t need a tagline
63. Gears of War
The shooter that made it OK to be gay for dudebros
62. Gran Turismo
FUCK THOSE GODDAMN LICENSE TESTS
61. Pokemon Blue/Red
Let me show you my pokemans
60. Commandos: Behind enemy lines
A.k.a the most difficult game of all time
HOLY SHIT MOUSE AIMING!
58. Power Stone
Beat people up with bits of masonry.
Look for sailors and hang out in bars. Gayer than a weekend in a pink tent in a gay bar
Japanese insanity on a disc
55. Devil May Cry
It’s got Vernon Wells in it. FUCKING BUY IT
53. Final Fight
If it wasnt for trailblazing gay games like this, we’d never have had the overtly gay games like gears of war
52. Turrican 2
Best chiptunes ever
Before GTA3, there was Driver. And it was a bit shit but it had to do until someone invented GTA3
49. Destruction Derby 2
The most fun you can ever have coming dead last in a race
48. Prince of Persia
Before Jake Gyllenhall fagged the franchise up
47. Ridge Racer
HEEEEY, SOMEBODIES RIGHT ONY OUR TAIIIIIIIIL
46. Metro 2033
Get out of here Stalk- sorry, wrong game.
The game that launched a billion racial slurs
44. Far Cry
Its great aside from the final 3rd which sucks more cock than paris hilton in a wind tunnel
43. Star Wars: Rogue squadron 2
HOLY SHIT IM ACTUALLY LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER
The best twist ending ever. Shaymalan.jpg
41. Counter Strike
What the fu…
39. Arma 2
I dont know what the fuck im doing but i know its awesome
37. Outrun 2
36. Super Mario World
This game always makes me want to eat ice cream and donuts. At the same time.
Woudl you kindly write a tagline.
34. Another world
Or ‘out of this world’ if youre a yank.
33. Duke Nukem 3D
Balls of steel etc
Zelda if it made you fight Ganon ten times
31. Max Payne 2
30. The Darkness
Couch scene. Nuff said.
29. Vagrant Story
One of the finest RPG stories ever.
28. Resident Evil REmake
Become a master of unlocking.
The game that invented the FPS
25. Resident Evil 2
The best one.
24. Half Life
Nerd destroys, then saves the world
23. Assassins Creed: Brotherhood
21. Amnesia: The dark descent
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT OH JESUS
20. Shadow of The Colossus
The best game ever. Why is it at 20 then? LOL I DUNNO
19. Dead Rising
18. Zelda: The wind Waker
Still looks amazing even today
17. Alan Wake
Fuck off ok, i loved it.
16. Battlefield 2
Why does it take an entire magazine to kill someone?
14. Deus Ex
Hang out in womens toilets
13. Legend of Zelda: A link to the past
Still the best Zelda of all time
12. Metal Gear Solid
Snake? Snake?! Fine, dont reply then.
11. Project Zero 2
Scared the fucking shit out of me. This game is no joke, for real.
10. Left 4 Dead
Best multiplayer game of the last 10 years.
9. Mass Effect 2
You get to shag aliens
8. Monkey Island 1
How appropriate, you fight like a cow.
7. Day of Defeat Source
The best MP FPS of all time.
6. Battlefield Vietnam
The 2nd best MP FPS of all time.
5. Street Fighter 2
4. GTA 3
The best GTA game ever. Yes, better than the loathsome San Andreas and with a more interesting and varied map then Vice City. And 10 times better than ‘i wish i knew how to write a script’ GTA4.
3. Half Life 2
Revolutionary graphics, Physics and storytelling. Remarkable.
2. Demons Souls
Youve heard how some women have rape fantasies? Thats what DS is to videogames. Itll fuck you up good and youll love it for it.
1. S.t.a.l.k.e.r: Shadow of Chernobyl
The best game of all time.