The gritty reboot, where would Hollywood be without it? If not for the gritty reboot, some of our childhood memories might actually still be intact, and not crying naked in a  corner after being violated by Hollywood again, and again, and again. Hell, some of us might even still have fond memories of Transformers if not for Michael Bay sucking the very soul out of Optimus Prime and pals. So heres a few ideas for some retro games in desperate need of taking it in both holes from Michael Bay and Activision

Altered Beast: ORIGINS

The original story:

Altered Beast is a side scrolling, platform, beat ’em up game that puts the player in control of a centurion who had died in battle. The centurion has been raised from the dead to rescue Zeus‘ daughter Athena from a Demon God called Neff in the Underworld. The player battles undead and demonic hordes, controlling the shapeshifting hero.

How a gritty reboot could work:

Its modern day New York. Detective John Werewolf  is killed in the line of duty while attempting to foil a Colombian cartel importing deadly Marijuana into the states. The chief of Police uses genetic engineering to make a clone of John Werewolf, and resurrects him from the dead to fight crime. However John Werewolf’s DNA has become altered, which means that for no reason at all sometimes he turns into a dragon, or a bear, or an IKEA kitchen table. The Police chiefs daughter is kidnapped by the crazed Colombians out for revenge, and John Werewolf has to battle his way into the drug kingpins mansion, (which is where the IKEA kitchen table disguise comes in handy) and take him down once and for all.

Gameplay:
Gameplay would have to be as gritty as the story, i.e John Werewolf has to smack around prostitues to get information out of them, and it all culminates in a harrowing scene where John goes undercover and is forced to commit a terrorist attack on a Dixons in Cardiff.

PAC MAN: UNDERWORLD

The original story:

The player controls Pac-Man through a maze, eating pac-dots. When all dots are eaten, Pac-Man is taken to the next stage, between some stages one of three intermission animations plays.[18] Four enemies (Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde) roam the maze, trying to catch Pac-Man

How a gritty reboot would work:

Patrick Mann is a drug addled ex-cop, his life is in ruins after the death of his wife, Ms. Patrick Mann. He spends most of his days drinking scotch straight out of the bottle and playing Russian Roulette. WITH 5 BULLETS. Pat was kicked off the force after being framed for taking bribes from the mob, and now 4 mob hitmen are tailing Pat wherever he goes in an attempt to kill him before he can turn states evidence. Pats only chance to survive is to keep snorting facefuls of blow while running from the mob and attempting to clear his name.

Gameplay:
In a word, Gritty.  Pac Man: Underworld would see pac man suffering from drug induced hallucinations where he doesnt know whats real and what isn’t. Pac man needs to find a constant supply of blow to keep the hallucinations in check while he tries to avoid the mob hitmen, Don Clyde, Mikey ‘Inky’ Franchesi, Blinky Mcgonagle and Joey the Wink).  


PAPERBOY: UNDERGROUND ORIGINS

The original story:

The player controls a paperboy on a bicycle delivering newspapers along a suburban street which is displayed in a cabinet perspective view. The player attempts to deliver a week of daily newspapers to subscribing customers, attempts to vandalize non-subscribers’ homes and must avoid hazards along the street. Subscribers are lost by missing a delivery or damaging a subscriber’s house.

How a gritty reboot could work:

The year is 2039. The earth has been rendered a barren wasteland by nuclear fire. Nothing remains. Nothing that is, except for THE PAPERBOY.
The Paperboy was betrayed and left for dead by a mysterious malefactor. After surviving a would-be fatal shotgun blast to the face, The Paperboy roams the wasteland of post-apocalyptic USA with the sole intention of making his final delivery. A delivery of DEATH, EXPRESS DELIVERY. POSTAGE PAID. The story is GRITTY because after he was shot in the head, paperboy was then RAPED by raiders.

Gameplay:

Paperboy is on a quest for vengeance, so instead of flinging papers, he flings molotov cocktails. Instead of vandalising property, he’s murderising people. He’s been shot in the head so he has to use all kinds of illegal drugs to self medicate the pain, and also to counteract the radiation and shit. The wasteland is populated by tons of mutants and rapists that paperboy has to kill or avoid being raped by or rape them first.

Dizzy: revenge of the fallen

The original story:

 The games were based around a central figure: an intelligent egg-like creature called Dizzy. The games would typically involve Dizzy trying to save his friends and family the Yolkfolk, often from the schemes of his arch nemesis, the evil wizard Zaks.

How a gritty reboot could work:

Dizzy was primarily known for being a cute cartoon Egg that wears boxing gloves and solves puzzles. FORGET EVERYTHING YOU YOU KNOW ABOUT DIZZY. This is Dizzy for the new millennium. This is Dizzy as you’ve never seen him before.
In Dizzy: Revenge of the fallen, Dizzy has just turned 20. On a college trip abroad, his ship is mysteriously washed ashore on a deserted Island. Dizzy now gets covered in blood and dirt, to prove how gritty he is. Dizzy isnt alone on the island however, there are horrible enemies known as the rapeclowns which Dizzy must kill all while saving the lives of his college friends. Daisy the egg is played by Megan Fox for added reboot appeal. Denzel is played by Shia LeBouef and Dylan is played by Michael Cera.

ARTISTS IMPRESSION

Gameplay:
Dizzy was primarily known for its bright colourful lands and simplistic puzzles. That shit isn’t gritty enough for 2011 audiences. Dizzy:ROTF will feature tough moral decisions for Dizzy, does he rape a rapeclown, or spare its life? The world is a sanbox open environment where everything is BROWN. BROWN = GRITTY. In one particularly harrowing scene Dizzy is forced to cut off one of his own fingers to save the life of Megan Fox.

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