Mass Effect 1 & 2 are fantastic games. The combination of beleiveable, well realised aliens, great storylines, and the occasional inter-species romantic fling between Shepard and his Alien crew meant Bioware literally suffocated to death on the amount of money gamers were flinging their way. But there’s a darker side to Mass Effect, a side where the occasional inter-species romantic fling becomes a full on alien gang bang, and everything is spelt wrong, or crudely drawn with a massive penisvagina.

This is Mass Effect erotic fanfiction, and it isnt pretty.

Slave t o hate
I actually feel a bit bad putting this one in here. Compared to some of the degenerate filth on display in later entries, this is actually probably the best bit of writing you’ll come across in the world of Mass Effect fanfiction. And theres something endearing and slightly naive about the idea of Gavin the Turian trying to convince his brother that humans arent so bad. Please note, the lack of punctuation and grammatical errors (including the space between ‘t’ and ‘o’ in the title) have not been included in any way by me for comedic purposes.

The turian stood in his shower his ritual before leaving home Gavin would wash away his solitude before leaving out. He had his eyes closed and rubbed his many scars, most of them he got in the battle for Shanxi. He didn’t like to think of the war. the thought of so many turians dying infuriated him but he couldn’t help it when in the shower the scars seemed to call to him. They seem to comfort him.

Heading out from his apartment he was already late to meet his brother at Flux a night club in the inner part of the wards it was quite a distance away from his apartment but he was going to meet his brother there. He approached a Citadel Rapid Transit station to hail a pod. And he was on his way.

This is an Asari as they appear to normal people

Stonewalled

This is basically the end result of a pre-teen girl playing Mass Effect.

There were a few members of the crew down in engineering still awake, carrying out the nightshift and making sure that the Normandy maintained its systems.

The only other person that was still awake, unfortunately, was Commander Shepard.

Wide awake, she sat at her terminal wearing an oversized shirt, fuzzy socks and sweats with a long fleece blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

Because only in the mind of a pre-teen girl can Commander Shepard wear fuzzy socks and a fleece blankie on her off days. Anyway, Cutie pie Shepard recieves an email from Kaidan Alenko who is bombed off his face:

Shepard,

Okay, so picture this: I’m out with the guys at this new bar that just opened up in the wards. It’s called Nightlife and it’s where Chora’s Den used to be. It’s not as great as the one on the Zakara ward, but on the plus side they serve hot wings and pizza. So I figured what the hell, and I went out not even expecting to have a good time. I have a few beers and a couple of slices of pizza, and before I know it, I start having fun. I mean, really having fun. I loosened up to the point that I even start dancing.
It felt great! I mean, it felt really really great! It was like I had chains put on me and somebody just set me free. I hadn’t felt that good in such a long time and I didn’t want it to end. Then I just started dancing with this girl.I had seen her around a couple of times on the Citadel working as security in the Presidium. She must have been super drunk, I mean completely bombed because she was just all over me. Before I knew it we were just pawing each other like a bunch of horny teenagers. Eventually she and I ditched the bar and she took me back to her place.

 The following romantic tryst between Alenko and Bar slut sadly wasnt as graphic as i was expecting, but you can guarantee this: Reading it was like being raped by text. The only way this story could shout ‘I WAS WRITTEN BY A PRETEEN GIRL’ any louder was if Kaidan tried to add Shepard on facebook afterwards.

These are Asari as they appear to sexual deviants

Engineered

Miranda perches on the edge of the hotel bed. She’s even paler than normal. Shepard sits beside her. They are clasping hands. Shepard looks at her with something that is probably concern, but Miranda seems to find her knees very interesting. “What’s wrong?” he asks very softly.

“The OB/GYN’s office sent the test results.” She shifts slightly. “The good news is that I’m not going through premature menopause.”

“Why do I get the feeling that there’s a ‘and the bad news is’ coming up?” His fingers dig into her palm, causing her to look up. “You don’t have cancer or anything, do you? I read an article on the extranet about a woman who lived with a benign tumor for twenty years before it metastasized.”

She smiles, but only a fool would think that tight grimace is an expression of happiness. “What have I told you about getting medical advice from the extranet? No, I don’t have cancer.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

Shepard mouths the words but no sound comes out. He tries again. “You’re—you’re pregnant? But I thought—how?”

 Well i’d assume it happened from you putting your dick in her, Shepard, but stranger things have happened. Tho i must give Kudos to the author of this one for being one of the only fanfics that actually has a male Shepard in it, which makes a nice change from story after story about FemShep getting nailed by Garrus.

Krogans as they appear to normal people

Jane’s Christmas

“I loved the party.” Liara complimented.
“Of course.” Jane giggled and took off her boots.
“Thanks for the gift too. I owe you.” the Asari added.
“Have something in mind?” Jane questioned, smiling.
“If I know you, yes.” Liara replied. Jane looked at her. She understood. Perfectly.
“All right.” she said, giving Liara a kiss.
“Happy holidays.” Liara managed before her eyes went black. “Embrace eternity.” she added. Jane grinned and felt her dress get unzipped. It fell to the floor and soon the two women were on the bed. Jane’s eyes were closed and her lips on Liara. Her party was great and her gift was great. The day had been exactly what she had wanted and more.
Truly purfect. she thought.

 Proving that in the mind of perverts everywhere, not even a Christmas dinner in the Mass Effect universe can finish without inter-species lesbian sex.

Maze

Shepard knew Jack had fucked everyone and everything she hadn’t fucked up. But now he wondered if anyone had ever shown her pleasure could be pursued in ways that weren’t hard, fast and rough. She was good at fucking but now he decided some lovemaking might be in order. He leaned forward placed a kiss on Jack shoulder, wetting the skin before tracing the tip of his tongue across her shoulder, following the paths of the ink as it ran up her neck until he reached her ear and licked behind it in a quick, impulsive motion. Jack flexed in an erotic motion, giving out a surprised moan that brought Shepard back to full hardness. But that could wait. Again, into her ear Shepard whispered:

“Roll on your front, I want to try something,” she tensed like a rock but after a moments pause did so and Shepard leaned over her, careful not make Jack feel like he was trying to pin her.

Aww. That’s sweet. Shepard is trying to prove to Jack that despite all the hardships shes been through, a quick knee-trembler in the missionary position is all she needs to experience real love.

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

Turian Dream
“Turian Dream”, or, “Everyone elses living nightmare ” is the heartwarming story, written in the first person, of one young womans romantic encounter with a gang of Turians.

 looked deep into 2nd’s eyes as he pushed himself into me, gently rocking, giving me time to adjust. Then he began to move. While I was focused on what was happening in front I didn’t pay much attention to what was happening behind and found 3rd was rubbing himself up and down my ass toying with my sensitive spot. I cried out and swirled my thumbs faster and faster over 1st and 4th’s peens as the pressure built within.

After what could have been hours or maybe just a few minutes the pressure tipped me as I came loudly yelling my pleasure to the world just as I felt the 2nd turian pull out of me and spray his cum over my front, 3rd came behind me and a little after that 1st and 4th came in my hands. I fell into the 3rd turian as the other 3 leaned against my tired and sweaty body and I blacked out for a while.

When I came to, there were 4 turians and myself occupying the double bed, arms, legs and spurs tangled everywhere in the sheets. I slowly extracted myself from the large puppy pile and made my way to the small bathroom, wincing and limping as I went. After I got out, I wrapped myself in a bathrobe and left the bathroom to find four pairs of eyes staring at me in hunger.

I grinned in response “Any one want to go again?”

This doesn’t even count as fanfiction, erotic or otherwise. It’s just one woman, -and dear god i hope its a woman writing this shit-, describing some lurid sexual fantasy involving an alien who looks like his head has been pieced together from papier mache and slabs of undercooked bacon. They actually have a category for this on the adult fan fiction site, alongside the usual ‘M/F’ ‘Bi’ ‘Orgy’, this was listend under ‘Xeno’. They have a category for alien porn stories. Every time i think of for what the internet was originally intended, the free exchange of ideas and information, and then think of this story occupying server space somewhere, i die a little inside.

This is how Garrus appears to normal people

Modifications

And Shepard was more then happy to fuck the questions out of Miranda if she had to. Or just do so for the fun of it. Either way she’d get her answers, and enjoy every moment.
She barely lasted a minute longer, before finally burying as much of her member as she could into Miranda’s depths. A long, drawn out moan escaped them both as Shepard felt her orgasm reach it’s peak, and judging by the Cerberus bitch’s insides suddenly growing tighter then before and milking her for everything she had, she wasn’t the only one hitting the edge.

Yep, you guessed it. Shepard is a Tranny. Thats why Cerberus spent billions of dollars bringing her back from the dead, just so they could see the look on her face when she finds out they’ve given her a knob. Well that and to write literally the worst erotic stories known to mankind about it.

This is Garrus as...OH GOD FUCK YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME
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