MW2
Once upon a time, Electronic Arts were seen as the all consuming evil of the gaming world. A little bit like ‘The Nothing’ in the never ending story, a company hell bent on destroying what everyone loved about gaming in the first place and churning out yet another ‘The Sims – coming out to your parents edition’ or ‘My first Badger race n’ ride’ dross. This changed when EA finally started listening to gamers and began producing original titles such as Dead Space, and making FIFA games that weren’t just the previous years game with some names changed and an updated sponsor name on your Jersey. But now with the position of Evil Overlord of gaming vacant, Activision has stepped up to the plate with its announcement that there will be no dedicated server supports for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. But what does this actually mean for gamers?

1. A massive dick up the ass for online gaming

Online gamers are about to take Activisions scaly black cock up their asses hard enough for it to tickle their tonsils. No dedicated servers means games will no longer be hosted be a server running on a gigabit ethernet connection somewhere in a server farm designed specifically for hosting gaming servers. From now on, if you want to play Modern Warfare 2 online, you’ll be playing from a game hosted on the PC of Mongoloid McRetard in Alabama. Your game will live and die by his upload speeds, which will probably be so slow you may as well post  letters detailing your movements back and forth, much like how people used to play chess by mail back in the days before excitement was invented.

2. A massive dick up the ass for the Call of Duty PC community

Call of Duty 1 was released for PC back in 2003, if i remember rightly. I remember buying PC gamer just to play the demo, over and over. Back then, COD was the name on everyone’s lips, it was a Medal of Honor beater, and the best WW2 game on PC in years. There were expansion packs, community made mods, and then the inevitable Call of Duty 2. Which for the record, i thought was complete shit but some people seemed to love anyway. Irregardless, it was the PC community that nurtured the newborn COD franchise, suckled it against our gaming teet, and saw it grow up into the ugly, lumbering behemoth it is today. Would the game be as popular nowadays if it weren’t for the PC in those tentative, forming years? Fuck no it wouldn’t, it would’ve been just another ‘Hour of Victory‘, and you can quote me on that shit.

3. A massive dick up the ass for Call of Duty’s lifespan

If you fire up a game of Quake 3 arena for the PC, youll still be able to find a game, almost 10 years after its release. Ditto Battlefield 2, Counter strike, Day of Defeat, and pretty much any multiplayer over the last decade you care to mention. Now, lgo on to xbox live, and lets see how many games we can find for games less than 2 years old that are hosted peer 2 peer (non-dedicated servers, folks)

  • The Darkness: 0 games found
  • Hour of Victory: -5000 games found
  • Chronicles of Riddick: 0 games found
  • IL2 – Birds of Prey: 1 game found
  • Operation Flashpoint 2: 0 games found
  • Wolfenstein: 3 games found, one of which was being run by a PAEDOPHILE

There you have it, all great games, (bar Fuckpoint 2 and Hour of Wanktory), and all completely dead multiplayer components thanks to peer to peer gaming.This proves conclusively that 2p gaming is either dead, or funding PAEDOPHILIA and TERRORISM.

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4. A massive dick in the ass for budding game developers

Without Mod support, there would be no Counter strike. No Day of Defeat, no Red Orchestra. All games born from people modding games like Unreal or Quake. Not so with MW2, dont expect to see any mods born from this game, or any new game modes or tweaks born from modifications. Why? Because Activision HATES YOU, and wants you to DIE ALONE AND MISERABLE while they bang hookers and do coke, and force tramps to perform dance routines from 1940’s musicals for dollar bills.

5. A massive dick up the ass for gamers everywhere, regardless of platform.

So Activision are using their Satanic worm-like cock to fuck PC gamers this time. Har har, laughs the console massive, tht doesnt affect me. Oh but it does, my unwashed bretheren. Why are activision screwing PC gamers? Because PC gaming is now the smallest piece of their financial pie. There’s no money to be made off dedicated servers, so they remove support for them. There’s no money to be made from mods (except of course that they keep your game alive years after it woulve otherwise been forgotten), so they remove support for them. And the less money they make off the platform, the less support it will recieve. Its business, and Activision are big business. They dont give a cock that you will have to put up with latency and host migration, all the piss poor shite console palyers have had to put up with, because they are still making money. But who’s to say that next year, if the PS3 isnt performing to Activisions standards, that they might not stop supporting it? Or strip features from upcoming PS3 games that are included in 360 games, that are deemed ‘unprofitiable’?
It’s a scary thought, and one most gamers may think will never happen, but back when people where boycotting EA thanks to ‘booster packs’ for BF2 and the rushed release of BF2142, i bet they never thought they’d one day be championing EA as a model for how games companies should operate..

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